the Golden Rule
Kindness & Respect
Kindness & Respect
It's simple. It's timeless. It's almost universal. In every setting where I've seen respect being taught this phrase has sprung up. And it makes sense: if you would like people to be kind to you, say nice things to you, be gentle with you, include you, help you, and love you, then you should do those things to other people as well. After all, if you enjoy being treated this way, don't you think other people enjoy being treated the same?
Likewise if you don't like when people are mean to you, say cruel things to you, belittle you, exclude you, treat you harshly, ignore you, and overall treat you poorly then you should not treat others in that way. If you don't like it when it happens to you, then don't put others through it.
This is what we call respect. Treating others with love, kindness, gentleness, patience, and empathy. To realize that each person is a unique human with their own desires, goals, quirks, and faults. That each person wants to be respected. That each person wants to know others see them, hear them, and love them. Everyone wants to be who they are. Treating others the way you want to be treated by others shows them you are a respectful person. It shows them you are a respectable person. It shows them how you wish to be treated. It shows them you care.
It should come as no surprise that "the Golden Rule" has an origin in the Christian Bible. In the book of Matthew, Jesus is speaking to a crowd of people. He says
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
This seems to be one of the first places where Jesus is reducing the long list of rules, procedures, policies, and structures the Jewish people understood as the Law to a very simple concept: treat people as you would have them treat you. Then in Mark he is quoted as teaching two new commandments. A teacher of the Jewish Law comes and asks which of the 10 commandments is the most important. This is Jesus's response:
“The most important one [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Jesus takes the first three commandments and replaces them with "love God." He then takes the other seven commandments and replaces them with an all encompassing "love your neighbor as yourself." Here he is literally telling people to look at others as themselves and love them accordingly. In Luke's gospel Jesus explains what it means to love those who don't love you. This pushes into the Silver Rule, which you can read about on it's page.
It seems every culture has had some form of the Golden Rule. The Christians have Jesus telling us to love our neighbors as ourselves; treating them as we would have them treat ourselves. But other cultures have similar teachings:
Hinduism: Do naught to others which would cause you pain if done to you.
Buddhism: Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
Jewish: What thou thyself hates, do to no man.
Confucius: What you do not wish upon yourself, extend not to others.
Bahá’í: And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose for thou for thy neighbor that which thou chooses for thyself.
The basic teaching is the same, no matter who makes the statement: your actions, decisions, and words should reflect how you think you should be treated. the Golden Rule is a simple concept. So much so that we use it to teach elementary school students about respect. As when we teach students about this we are usually prompted by another student's misstep. Meaning that we are really telling them "others don't like that. Do you like that? (no) Then don't do that to others if you don't like it yourself."