my Inspiration
for the Rules
for the Rules
Although it took me a few years to develop the 3 Rules into what they are today, I suppose they have always been a part of my life: in my personal life as well as my coaching and teaching strategies.
I was working as a drylands coach for a local swim team. I had the younger kids and needed a way to get them to behave. Like with most school behavior systems you might be familiar with, it was centered around treats. However, I needed some mark for them to achieve before they would get a treat. So, I decided to judge them based on their behavior. It may seem a little un-Christian and maybe a tad harsh, but it was more in good fun than an actual disciplinary system. And it served another purpose: promoting the behavior I desired from them. (listening to instructions, following directions, focusing on the task at hand...)
I was in college in an elementary education program at the time. I was learning about behavior management and discipline in one class. The instructor basically said that classroom rules should be simple, easy to understand, and possible to follow at all times. However, we also went over some other systems such as Ron Clarks classroom rules; which expanded as necessary as the students "hurt" the classroom family.
I figured I would start with what I knew: the Golden Rule. Simple yet all encompassing. Treat people how you want to be treated.
Next is a most looked over observation I had made: what to do when kids break the Golden Rule because others were treating them poorly? So the second rule became "always treat people with respect, even if they aren't following the Golden Rule." Why make this a rule in itself, instead of just lumping it in with the first rule?
A list of rules is usually not meant to be a pick and choose buffet. You are meant to follow all of the rules. This is why the rule set should be as small as possible. But that in turn means each rule should be as simple to understand as possible. So the first rule was to treat others with respect and the second rule was to continue to do so even if they themselves are not being respectful.
These two rules now encompass how to treat other people no matter the circumstances... except for one circumstance.
At first I was going to make the Bronze Rule something to the effect of "respect your elders." But seeing as that phrase has some odd connotations with it I went another way. I decided to be more specific. So the third rule became "always listen to your coaches." Remember, these rules were initially written up for my swim team kids. So, I need them to respect each other in order to get through our exercises, and I need them to follow my directions so they actually do the exercises.
However, it felt a little odd saying "you should only listen to your coaches" if that's indeed how it would be taken. In order to avoid conflict I changed it to "always listen to your parents, teachers, and coaches." And yes, I put it in that order specifically.
Now all the parts were there: respect others and do so at all times making sure to listen to the adults who only want the best for you.
As I transferred these rules from a swim team, dryland exercise environment to that of an actual classroom I began to develop two more "rules." You see, it's easy to say "respect people all the time" but it's a bit more difficult to explain why. And more difficult still is to explain how.
While it was fairly simple to throw an action back in a student's face with a simple "would you like it if I did that to you? [no] Then why would you do that to him?" It wasn't a future proof, self discipline, teachable moment. This is where the guide rules come into play.
The first one was the Iron Ore rule. Iron being a common ore, it was about common sense. Would you like to be hit? No? Then don't hit people. Common sense. This rule was used as a forward thinking rule to consider before every action taken, decision made, or word spoken. It's all about self control and being aware of your own behavior.
Next came the Chrome rule, chrome metal mostly being known as a mirror-like accent on cars. Following the idea "take a look at yourself in the mirror" to determine if you're performing good or ill, or else acting hypocritically. It serves as a meditative prompt. Take a close look at your actions, decisions, and words. Are you indeed following the three rules? If not, take the appropriate action to change your behaviors.
The school where I worked soon decided to standardize the "classroom" and "school rules". In this instance my Biblical footnotes on the school rules fell to the wayside. And with them fell my 3 Rules. I began to use chalkboard and wall space for other things. Being a computer science teacher in a middle school I used the space available for a keyboard typing speed "race" board. And other available space was used to hang posters about technology. I never forgot the 3 Rules, and I used them in teachable moments where a students behavior needed to be corrected. I took them with me to a youth center where I ran an after school program among other events. To this day I use them with my nieces and nephews to teach them how to live a loving life. Hopefully, one day I will get to display them proudly on the wall of another youth center.